Saturday Evening

So I’ve been in kind of a fog all week.  Trying to process losing my dad.  I don’t think I’m ready to fully go there.  I don’t really have a timetable of how this should feel, so I’m just going to try to get through the days like I always do…start with my planner.  That always makes me feel better.  I throw up some prayer’s to St. Joseph.  He’s  a good one to talk to and pray for the poor souls.  My grandma always taught me to pray for the poor souls.  Whenever a door opened by the wind, she would say, “Say a prayer for the poor souls.”  

Tomorrow is Father’s Day so that’s not going to be too much fun.  I started crying just thinking about it.  I realized I didn’t have anything planned for the husband for Father’s Day and Connor reminded me that tomorrow was Matthew’s birthday.  I really got upset that I totally forgot about his birthday.  He was born on Father’s Day that year.  A great present to give my husband, a son for Father’s Day.  June 19th, Happy Birthday Matthew ❤  But I’ve had a lot going on this week so I’m pretty sure he’ll understand.  Connor being the great little brother has it covered already.  They are so lucky to have each other.  It makes me very happy that they are together supporting each other.  It’s really important and I learned this week how very important it is to have sibling support.  There are only a few people that really, truly know who you are and share the same kind of love.

I think I’ll write blog about Matthew tomorrow.  I did that one year for Connor and it turned out really well.  Time goes by so fast.  I can’t believe how old my kids are.  I guess that means I’m getting older too.  But I had them really young so I’m really glad I did that.  My kids range in age from 33 to 23 and I’m still in my fifties so I guess that’s pretty young for now a days.  I was remembering my dad when he walked me down the aisle.  He was only 47 years old and I was just 20.  Both of my parents were young parents.  They had all of us in their 20’s so there was not a huge generational gap…

I am just trying to get back into the daily routine of blogging and working on my planner.  Also got a lot going on besides that so it is a bit challenging right now.  Thanks for sticking around.   Enjoy the rest of the weekend…Happy Summer ❤   

6 Comments on “Saturday Evening

  1. I’ve been thinking about you since you posted a comment on my blog. I do hope that yesterday wasn’t unbearable for you. I hate the month of May – I celebrate Mother’s Day and then my birthday without my mom. When my mom first died I was so lost, so confused, and felt so empty. I didn’t understand the rollercoaster of emotions I was going through and felt completely alone, even though I had my husband, 2 kids, and a zoo of pets. My mom’s funeral was a week before Thanksgiving and none of us knew what we were doing. I think my dad and I were numb – walking into a kitchen on a holiday without my mom’s cooking filling the air with delicious scents just seemed so unreal. The house felt empty and cold without her. But we did it together as a family. There is no timetable for grief – it is different for everyone. My mom has been gone for over 7 years and I still get tears in my eyes sometimes thinking about her. You heal, but you don’t forget or stop loving. I turned to writing to help me because I was such a mess. Through sheets of tears I wrote directly what was in my heart. Funny, I will share my blog with the world, but feel weird sharing it with coworkers because it’s me, raw and uncensored, at probably the worst time of my life. I am here if you need someone to connect to – peace4me521@yahoo.com. I healed from my mom’s death through the help of others who had lost a parent. I will end with my favorite quote, one I hold close to my heart and is engraved on a memory leaf for my mom. “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” ~ Thomas Campbell

    • Yes it was a hard day yesterday for more reason than one. I have a really strong husband who carries me through anything and our son’s are just the best. Thank you for thinking of me and your concern. That is so appreciated and welcomed. ❤

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