Dump Day & And a few other things….

So I realized why I walk.  When I walk it gets my mind working, thinking about all of the things I want to accomplish.  Goals are very important to get to where you want to go.  We all make up, “New Year’s Resolutions,” in the beginning of the year and usually about 1 to 2 weeks later we have forgotten what they were.  Well today I decided to make up my goals for the rest of this year.  I am also going to get a jump on that New Year’s thing.  I have already decided to give myself, “The Gift of a Year !!!”  ❤  I’ll be explaining that in future blog posts, but trust me it is a very interesting concept.

So for September, my #1 goal is to read Dark Days by D. Randall Blythe.  I need to read this book.  I also want to finish up all of my decorating.  I have a few more deliveries of furniture and some work for Mr. Chuck.  Once that is done, then I can just sit back and enjoy the fall with the husband.  We will also be going on a road trip towards the end of the month for his birthday.  It is a milestone birthday so we are going to have a a great celebration.  We are going back to Maine, it will be beautiful at this time of year.  Unfortunately our 2 oldest children are still a couple of brats who only think about themselves so they won’t be included  in the celebration.  We are just grateful for our 2 youngest who grew up into really wonderful young men.  You know you always have to throw the first couple of pancakes out, then the rest are fine.  I just say thank you to God everyday for blessing me with my children.  Us as parents were the best.  They get to make there crappy choices and they get to live with the consequences of that.  I have finally learned to say, “It’s not my problem 😉 ”  I pulled them out of the way of the oncoming semi-truck enough times.  Now they get to learn about how it feels to get hit by that truck.  I’ll save that for another post, because it’s ugly and I don’t really feel like writing about those two.  They hated each other when they were growing up in the family, now they are so close.  I guess she’s not mad anymore about him showing the pictures that blew her life up here at home.  Misery loves company.

Well now where was I.  That’s right my goals for the rest of the year.  Well after we get back from the road trip out east, I have a couple of more books I need to read.  I am going to start planning the holidays, I know right it’s that time of year again.  I hope the winter is not too bad this year.  I really do hate the cold and the snow.

Well I got off track when I brought up those unfortunate people and have completely lost my train of thought.  So I might as well say what I have to say and be done with it.  God has a plan for all of us and I do believe he is in charge of all of our lives.  He has set the table for all of us and we all will be seated together at the table one day.  I believe he will show us our lives in re-play and we will answer for what we have done.  I’m not a perfect mother, or a perfect person.  Far from it.  But I will be able to look back on my life and know that I did my best.  I loved my family and did my best.  I never left even though there were times that I wanted too.  Me and the husband have been married for 36 years and we did everything for our children.   They always came first, their lives were all that mattered.   I think that sometimes that is where we made our mistake.  We were too good to them and didn’t demand enough back for us.  Then when we did expect things from them, they left.  You know, like working at a job and being honest.  Like not hanging out with thugs, and having a bunch of kids and not getting married.  Expecting us to foot the bill for there dysfunctional lifestyle.

I will learn to get past, what I will never get over.   They both hurt their family so bad.  Me as a mom, I can take it.  Mom’s are just strong like that, or at least I am.  What really hurts is to see what they did to their father and their brother’s.   Their father is a strong man.  Probably because he didn’t have a dad.  His dad died when he was just 9 years old, so he tried to be the best dad because he knew what it was like not to have one.  Matthew has a good support system too.  I worry about Connor, because I know he still hurts because he was so close to his Gabriella.  My Granddaughter, his niece.   My daughter just took her away from us and didn’t even think twice about sticking it to us.  I just hope that Gabriella has forgotten about her home, (that we made for her) her school (this is like her 4th school she’s been at) her uncles and her dogs.  Her cat that she loved died.  The kind of losses that she suffered, no 7 year old should have to carry.

Then there is Michael.  What can I say.  We gave that kid so much.  Sent him to the best schools.  He was a genius, scary smart.  Do you think he would use those brains that God gave him.  What a gift and he just threw it all away.  I know he did because if he didn’t, he would have made things right with his family.   But he still can’t face us or his brother’s and make it right.  I’m sure he has spread all kinds of lies about us and our family, but like I said God will be the judge.  You will not be able to lie in God’s house.  You know I came from a family of 4 sister’s.  When one of us would get mad at one of our parents we wouldn’t stop talking to each other, just mom or dad.  He left 4 years ago, I think.   The last time we heard from him was when he was trolling his sister and he blew her life up with some pictures that showed who she really was.   So he did his damage to this family and that was good for him, and then he crawled back under the rock he came out from.  He couldn’t make things right with his family, so he had to destroy.  No one can be happy in this family.  Well you won, I guess Michael.  You have estranged me from my Mom, my sister Liz, Lizzie and Gabriella.  So are you happy ??

The prayers I say to God at night are not for you.  I pray to God, that he will help me get to the point that I can even pray for you two.  I hope you are both happy with your lives.  You both have done your best to destroy us and in the process I’m pretty sure you have totally screwed up your lives… I don’t really get why but some day I will. Me and dad are still standing and we all together.  You know your two younger brother’s that you pretty much just said F… You to.     Like I said before, I am trying to get past what I’ll never, never get over.  Have a great life.

If you are trolling this blog post, don’t respond.  You know where I live if you want to talk.  It’s called a phone.  Me and dad have made a pack and we won’t open any emails that you send because it’s probably something bad that you are just trying to hurt us with.  Never again

After previewing I thought about not posting, but I don’t care.  I still am really pissed about all of the collateral damage you both did to this family.  We worked so hard to make a good family and you two just totally screwed it up.  And if you think all you have to do is say, “I’m sorry,” you are out of your mind.  This is just my process to get past you two train wrecks…Remember, what goes around, comes around.  The world is a circle.  One thing I am so happy about is that God blessed you with children of your own.  You will know what I am talking about one day.  Oh I know, you will never be the parents from hell like we were.  You will just do everything right.  My kids won’t lie and I’ll do everything right…Sure  Wish I could watch.   Remember I had 5 kids, I know a little bit about raising kids.   555555555

No you are not getting a song… The only reason I put the picture up is to remind you it was real.  We were a real, happy family.  You just couldn’t grow up…

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