I don’t have a title for the book yet, so we’ll work on that. I’m sure one will come up along the way. So here we go…
“The full moon was the only light in the room. The computer screen was dark. Only a low hum letting you know that it was on. My head was pounding as I laid it on the desk. My eyes were swollen. I can’t remember when I had cried so much at anyone time. Probably because there wasn’t such a time, but I knew the days that lay ahead would all resemble this one. Dark and black, with only white noise.
Today I had laid Lucy to rest, my best friend, my soul mate. Lucy was my big sister. We had done everything together for our entire lives. We grew up together on a dairy farm in Wisconsin. The farm also grew crops, always corn sometimes wheat. We came from a large family 2 girls and 4 boys.
“How did we get to this point?” I thought. “What will I do now?” It was so cold and I was so alone. No one to talk to. Nothing but empty space. Time had just stopped. For a moment I wondered if maybe I had gone to the other side. The pain in my head reminded me that I had not gone anywhere. I was still among the living, all by myself. I cursed the fates that had taken my Lucy away from me.
My Facebook msg. window appeared on the computer screen, “Knock, knock.” Was I dreaming? I didn’t care if I was, it was a sound that was familiar and that brought comfort to me. I didn’t move, I just kept listening for that sound on my computer telling me that Lucy was on-line and wanting to share something with me about her day, her world.
The computer had been our lifeline to each other over the past couple of years. Our lives had put us at a geographical distance. In other words, we didn’t live next door to each other. There was also a matter of economics and the cell phone bill. The computer/Wi-Fi was a better way for us to communicate especially from an economic stand point. We made it a game, it was fun.
Lucy was a computer genious. For me, on the other hand, (as Lucy put it) I was very, “Low tech.” She had a degree in communications. I had a year of junior college but never really found direction there. I went to work at an office and was an administrative assistant for the railroad in town. Her job was a bit more glamorous as she hooked up with an airliner. She was a stewardess, she flew high in the sky. She always told me she was going to see far away lands and get paid for doing that. I don’t really thought she meant her dream job was waitressing in the air, i.e. being a stewardess but she was getting paid for traveling around the world. So I guess she was half right. I stayed close to home. I was happier there. My spirit was there, the past and my future. I got my strength from our farm, the land. Lucy had demons, most of them were of her own making.
Lucy wanted to take me everywhere. She would say, “You need to see the world. That’s were the spirit lies, up in the clouds.” But I hated to fly, I felt so helpless totally out of my comfort zone. I controlled nothing. When I flew for the very first time, I had a major anxiety attack !! I didn’t even know what an anxiety attack was but I quickly found out at 20,000 feet in the air. I would’ve so loved to be like Lucy, a free spirit – not afraid of anything.
I had learned to love who I am and I accepted myself. I think that just getting on the raft and riding the river was easier to live my life that way. Not always paddling upstream, that was too hard.
“Knock, knock already, are you there?”
This time I had to pick up my head and look at the screen. I wiped away the tears from my eyes and focused. “Who is this?” I thought. It is 2:30 am in the morning, who would want to talk to me? My Facebook friends consisted of only family and a few close friends. Her screen name was, “Ozzie,” and yes mine was, “Harriet.” Not very original, but it worked for us. That was always how our relationship was easy and it just always worked.
“K N O C K, K N O C K already !!! Why won’t you answer me? I know you are there.”
O.K. I’ll play this game and see who this troller is. I mean who would be so insensitive at a time like this. This doesn’t make any sense to me, who would be using her screen name and Facebook page? ‘You know who this is!” My hands lifted up off the keyboard I’m not going to chat with whoever this is, very creepy. This was obviously some cruel hoax that someone was playing.
“Come on Harriet, talk to me. Answer already.”
“Who is this?”
“Yeah, right. I don’t think so.”
This time I got up and left the room. I couldn’t bare to play this horrible game anymore. I went into the front room and laid down on the couch. I was trembling, even the warmth of the blanket could not warm me. I just kept shaking. Finally I went back to the dark, the only place that would ease the pain, asleep again.”
Well what do you think ? That is the beginning of my book. I’ll add some more later. Please give me your feedback and ideas. Thanks “(C) All rights reserved.”